we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize