sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
