Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
