I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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