i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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