i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
