i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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