yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
