Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
