someone threw a dead crab at me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
