I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
