Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I believe in your delicious
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
