Kiss
Puke
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
