she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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