I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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