IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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