My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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