you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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