We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
