You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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