I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
