i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
