guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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