I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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