Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
