Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
