i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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