i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
