chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
