would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
