Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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