her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
