I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
