she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
