Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
