Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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