A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
