I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
