well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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