A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
