The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
