I hate your face
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
