omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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