I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
