I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
