If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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