Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
