I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
