To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
