If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
