mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
