8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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